Will Tomorrow Be A Better Day?
What is the true meaning of happiness..Time to update
On the day my darling came back from Thailand, a very sad thing happened to me and my family. We lost a very dear sister and daughter.. My dear Ping Ping fell very sick that morning. When I wake up, I found her in the kitchen toilet near the drainage area. I was too afraid that I might hurt her in any ways so I woke my mother up and my mother carried dear Ping Ping into the room.. She was suffering and she don’t even have the strength to walk or move.. We waited for my sister to come home so that we can go visit the vet together just incase anything happens and that will be the last time we’ll see her. The vet only tell us that her mouth is having infection and it might be the cause of kidney failure, they’re not very sure so they took blood sample from her and we have to wait till the next day for the results to be out. I somehow have a very bad feeling that she isn’t going to last the day but I kept on hoping that she can last at least until the blood test results are out. Because she isn’t eating, I fed her water and honey water because I don’t want her to dehydrate. I didn’t go to school that day because I want to stay at home to wake care of her while my sister have to go for piano lesson and my mother have to prepare stuff for dinner. At around 7:20pm when everyone was around her, she started wagging her tail and she howled. We all can tell she was in pain and she was struggling to hang on longer but we all kept telling her to go and she finally stopped breathing and her heart stopped.. I tied a small bunch of her hair with a thread and cut it then I clip the hair with the purple rose hair clip I bought for her quite some time ago.. It was 7:40pm when she left us and we all cried very badly.. We called the cremation centre and we even bought an urn for her.
Next day we went to buy an electronic photo frame then we combined all the photos and videos we have of her and put it all in the photo frame. Our hearts somewhat settled down a bit because after looking at the photo frame for hours, it feels like she’s not totally gone. After that I totally have no mood to do anything so it’s either stoning or stoning. =l
After she passed, we all still hear her in the house. The first night when she passed, I couldn’t sit down to rest because if I sit down quietly I will burst into tears again so I kept walking around the house. That’s when I first heard her, I heard the sound of her drinking water in the kitchen but when I walked to the kitchen door, the sound stopped. At night before I go to bed, I heard her scratching the floor like she always does and it went on for quite sometime. I thought I was hearing things, I even went out to check if QQ and Bailey is scratching but they are both sound asleep. Another night while I was sleeping, I felt like a dent on my bed near my leg like as though she’s on my bed, moved a little and went off. I heard scratching only at some days and sometimes even hear her bell. Day before yesterday and yesterday was the strongest feeling and sound I ever had. I always read my book in a corner of my room on my mattress and she always like to come up to me and smell my face. Night before yesterday, I decided to sleep there and when I was about to fall asleep, I felt her smelling my face. When I opened my eyes, there’s nothing there. I thought I was thinking too much, because that afternoon I really missed her very badly until I nearly cried in class, so I went back to sleep. After awhile the feeling came again, I can feel her smelling my face, I opened my eyes again and there was nothing there. After that I turned the other way to face the wall, then I heard her bell ringing softly and her tiny footsteps leaving my room. Yesterday my sister and I had MacDonalds for lunch, I brought it into my room and place it on my table. When I was eating halfway, I went out to the living room to take a few napkins then when I come back into my room, I felt a very strong smell. It doesn’t belong to my MacDonalds and the smell didn’t come from below my bed but when I step 1 or 2 small steps away from my MacDonalds, there’s where her smell is the strongest. My windows were closed and the fan was offed. I was shocked and I went to my mother’s room to tell her but after I go back my room, all I can smell is MacDonalds.. My mother also have a few experiences where Ping Ping pushed her room door and the door really opened but there’s nothing there. Also a few times where Ping Ping brushed across my mother’s back while she’s sleeping and my mother also heard her bell.
I think she really did come back to accompany us just that we can’t see her.. =(
Ping Ping we all love you and miss you very much.
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6 more days!
My darling is coming back in 6 days’ time! I’m so excited! For the past week all the activities I’ve done is go school, watch anime, accompany my mother go grocery shopping. I’ve watched finish Bleach 342 episodes and 4 Bleach movies. I can’t wait for the next episode. I’m actually waiting for Vampire Diaries 3rd season to complete filming then I can watch the whole season in one shot. Also, I intend to paint my own Mamegoma nail art so I need to buy lots of nail polish colour and nail art brush set. School work is also stressing me out which makes me more don’t want to study, which is bad.. =X
Today my mother suddenly decided to polish the floor in her room and because I want my room floor to be shiny too I decide to polish my room floor. After hours of polishing I only managed to polish less than a quarter of my room. My hands and arms hurts badly right now and nobody is beside me to sayang me. =(
Miss you very much.. Hope you’re beside me..
It’s been awhile
It has been one week since I last posted anything.
On Saturday I spent my whole day on my bed watching Bleach..
On Sunday I went to my grandmother’s house. Not only that place is hot but my grandmother do not want anyone to on the fan. So that day it’s like a sauna for me. A lot of things happened on that day and those issues are very stupid so I shan’t say any.
Monday is a morning class for me. I wasn’t feeling well but I can’t miss a day because I might not know what was that lesson I missed is about so I went to school and then went home during break time. I rested for the whole day after that.
Tuesday, I still went to school even though I wasn’t feeling well.
Yesterday, I accompanied my mother to a shop that sells stuff like sinks, toilet bowls, heater, water taps and some other stuff.
This morning, I walked to school without caution, I nearly got banged by a car. After that I ate lunch with my classmate before going home. After that I’ve practically done nothing much.
So that’s pretty much what I’ve done for the past 1 week. lol…
15 days and counting =)
